garbled..

I always say, I have to learn to take care of the people around me for time flies swiftly.. but when I do, it seems more likely for them to go away.. :sigh: God knows I took care of this person for the longest time and that I did everything I could in my power, even during the times I so wanted to give up and let it all go.. I honestly thought it will all go se well but unfortunately, fate always has a way of laughing at me..

Life, they say is not always easy.. true.. I've had my fair share of shit as well.. to you it may seem that I'm so tough and full of myself but when you see what's really inside, you might be shocked to see my heart bleeding profusely and broken beyond recognition..

Restless and sleepless nights I've spent for a week now.. tossing and turning I know is a cliche' but that's what I've been doing.. literally.. chocolates for my troubled soul? I don't think so.. who ever started the saying "chocolates are the ultimate comfort food and it makes us happy" is a goddamned liar in my opinion.. I think they haven't experienced in their perfect little lives the ultimate despair.. ultimate despair's too strong a word, i know.. but who cares?! nobody could ever understand that completely and nobody gives a flying fig on what you truly feel.. even those whom you thought will always be there.. the one who promised to always be there..

The rain outside has gone away, sunlight seeping through the clouds.. my thoughts still garbled, and my face just like a blank canvass.. the leaves are falling, the water continues flowing.. a lot of things goes with that flow, going into a destination unknown.. taking my nemo with them.. that he looks so happy without me, I can't complain..